nicolebcreative

Sometimes I look at the clock and ask "Where did it go!?" time that is. I'm a lot more relaxed about deadlines now that I'm making my own because I know for a fact I'm doing all I can now without spreading myself too thin. I have put Finn, Corey, even Daisy first. Freelance graphics comes second (sometimes third) and then our buisness. What about me you may ask, well I fit myself in now and then knowing if I don't then my productivity for everything else goes down. As of late I have felt really slow though, not sure what's slowing me down and making me so tired. Maybe I do need to pay attention to my needs more closely or look at any fears that are inadvertently slowing my pace. I need yoga again. Now where do I fit it in? I really do need a lot of things but is it need or reward? Something I must ponder on. Balance, balance, balance ... sometimes it is really hard to keep.

Just a shout out to Mel, she posted a portion of the interview she had with me on her blog. She's in the process of writing the Votre Vray Creative Women Project and I'm one of the women she has written about. You can read it here: http://www.votrevray.blogspot.com/ I'm just taking a moment to write my thoughts this morning. It's Saturday but it feels like any other day to me since I work for myself now. Corey is away having some much needed guy R&R with a guy friend - Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca motorcycle races. Although I myself don't find it entertaining I can understand his need for it as he can understand my need for "artist" retreats. So I'm home taking care of the 'kids', we consider our dog a child too since she is so needy with all her health issues. Anyway I feel a little more caught up than I have felt lately. Freelance jobs are completed (for now), the plants are watered, and the kitchen is clean. Yes there is so much more to cle...

I'm collecting my thoughts, my dreams, my goals, my vision. I came to my office computer to work but find my mind going inward. When you spend all day taking care of things, little ones, and pets you forget to take care of yourself and I mean more than taking a shower or eating I mean taking care of your spirit. I just realized I don't share this part of myself much anymore with anyone, not even myself and it's made me a little sad. When I was younger I gave of myself completely to others, did for them and shared me with them. Now I realize I'm only giving half because I'm not listening to who I am which means I'm not giving my whole self. I need to share me with me and me with others more. That being said I will make it a point to explore myself here in the written word, the conscience stream of thought at the very least twice a week. Goals, yes I have many, even the here and now ones seem to outnumber my hours in a day. Priority one will always be my family an...

It's Friday night and I'm at home ... HAPPILY! Yes, Finn is asleep (finally) and Hupthsy (Nickname for Husband) and I have just enjoyed a dinner of grilled half chickens with peas and basmati rice plus a side of grilled corn on the cob AND of course two tall (each) freshly made margaritas, hey it was 95 degrees today! Hence the reason for my run on sentences and babbling. But Hupthsy made it all and it was so delectable, I swear the chicken had bacon wrapped around it while it was cooking to perfection in the smoky grill outside. What more could I want for a Friday night? Dancing in a sparkly top and tight jeans while strangers buy me drinks and sweat while looking at me like jackals? NO! The night was OR is perfect wouldn't change it or trade it for anything. Am I old? Who cares! I don't if it means I had a great Friday night. What next? Cuddling on the couch and flipping through channels or watching a Netflix. But who knows it's only 8:30 and we probably won't...

I'm in a lull. Maybe a bit sad too. I just got back Monday (late night) from visiting my parents in the northwest. It was a great visit and I swear Finn grew a lot mentally and physically while we were gone. My husband cut Finn's hair this morning before leaving for work and I was surprised at how sad it made me. For one it was a lot shorter than I thought it was going to be and it made my baby look so different than what I was used to. I'm feeling unmotivated and stifled on the whole job front. I came home to no job offer emails and one "Congrats! You're design submission is one of the top seven picked out of hundreds," (for a crappy little postcard design job.) "Now we will post your designs for our clients to pick a winner," great just what I need. I'm a seasoned professional with over eight years experience and I have to wait eagerly for "possibly, potentially, maybe more work offered after winning." So I put in my precious time to ...

I got emotional today. No big milestone for Finn, no self-realization wave, just overcome with emotion about my financial contribution to the family. I was holding Finn, he had just eaten and I glanced out to my latest Green Art Squared art pieces drying in the sun. I thought, they will sell, they will be talked about, people will want my creations, why, because I deserve it. I deserve to stay home to care for Finn, Finn deserves to have a mom that can stay at home with him. I deserve to be able to create and earn a living at it, not just on the computer by other peoples ideas, constraints but by my own love and vision. My love for the physicality of it, my love for the expression of it, my love of the care taken for the earth and those in it. This form of art making may seem simple, too marketable, too mass media. For me that is the beauty in it, it's simplicity. Simple in the fact that it reuses what others deem as trash, not in a kitschy sort of way but in an elegant way that yo...

What is with me and all this Biblical speech patterns. I think I'm being influenced by the book I'm reading, Lamb by Christopher Moore. It's for book club, I would have never picked it because of my Christian upbringing, I'm over reading about Christ and feeling guilty about it. However this book is nothing like that, it takes the perspective of Jesus' life before he was baptized, when he was young. It brings comedy and light to a familiar character, the son of God. Now where was I before my rant, ah yes the boy wonder in my life, Finn. It does one good to wake every morning and after feeding this squaking sleepyhead of a person find the pure delight of just being alive in his face. How wonderful to wake with the wonder and awe of a new day, such a happy boy. To be able to make one person light up the way he does when I smile at him makes all the drudgery of being pregnant and day to day of a mom worth it. I've been heeding the counsel of my intuit Joy. She was ...

In the beginning she was created ... created thus having the essence of creation. In the image. Every time I create I praise, it is my form of worship because it was the gift we were all given. Some choose to hone this gift more than others. Then there are those of us who crave it, who need it to feel like themselves. Lately I've thrown myself aside and have not been taking care of the caregiver. But what does that leave for those I care for? Not much if I am not replenishing the well. So with that proclamation I am here now standing before the world ready to promise. This blog is a promise, something I can do to replenish the well. Yes the physical act of writing is more creative, however I am a mother now and my time is limited, typing is quicker. Also I am promising to create my art, this is really what replenishes my well. I am excited about my new form of art-making. It utilizes 95% recycled and reclaimed materials. I call it "Green Squared" - Going Green One Square ...